The Criminal Zodiac: How Dangerous Is Your Dark Side?

What can push you so far that you become aggressive, angry, and irritable? What are you capable of in such a “magical” state of mind? Are you vindictive? Cunning? Do you hold grudges? Or are you like in that old joke: “I don’t hold grudges — but I can burn the house down”? In short, my friend, do your stars suggest a dangerously high level of potential criminality? The answer, without a doubt, lies in the zodiac.

♑ Capricorn

Capricorn does not appear hot-tempered at all. On the contrary — cold, calculating, and capable of thinking everything through down to the smallest detail: whether it is going to the movies, buying flowers for a girlfriend, or planning bloody revenge against enemies. Yet even Capricorn can snap — though it takes a lot to push him that far. At heart, Capricorn is a dominant, self-interested, persistent nature and, if truly provoked, can take revenge in a way that will haunt the offender for a very long time. But again — you really have to push Capricorn hard.

♒ Aquarius

Aquarius is not inherently criminal — unless it is out of curiosity. Aquarian curiosity, to be precise. There is little aggression here, but an abundance of curiosity. Aquarius often rebels against established systems, routines, and rules, and it is precisely these things he challenges — not out of malice, but out of principle. As a result, Aquarian “offenses” are often nothing more than a challenge to society and the law.

♓ Pisces

It’s not that Pisces are aggressive — they are simply extremely sensitive. Press the wrong spot with enough force, and Pisces will likely snap. Quietly. Internally. That is why Pisces can make surprisingly effective maniacs or underground operatives. Pisces also have a noticeable tendency toward alcohol and substance dependence — which, as you may imagine, does not exactly help matters.

♈ Aries

Well… what can I say. A ram is a ram. Oh — pardon me — Aries. A very good person, by the way, as long as you don’t start a fight with him 🙂 Still, I wouldn’t recommend trying. You know exactly what I mean. The legendary short temper of this sign needs no explanation. What can Aries do about his fiery, star-given nature that seeks to break through any resistance? Mostly suffer from it himself. So if you’re near an Aries — be careful, my friend. If you are an Aries — be even more careful. We all know how hard it is for you not to jump into a fight when someone insults your girlfriend, your honor, or simply dares to resist you. Resistance only fuels the fire, and the consequences can be wildly unpredictable. Easy, dear Aries — and peace, friendship, and happiness shall prevail.

♉ Taurus

From Aries to Taurus — just one step. They seem calmer, more grounded — and indeed, Earth does stabilize. Yet in practice, not always. Taurus usually loses patience over very material, down-to-earth things: a delayed paycheck, crumbs on the table, unwashed dishes. There is also a category of Taurus who explodes because their partner fails to understand their deep inner world — but that’s a separate story altogether.

As for actual criminal tendencies, those Taurus who cross the line are more likely to rob a bank than harm a fellow human. Although history, of course, tells us different stories.

♊ Gemini

Rarely does a Gemini hold a grudge — things fly in one ear and out the other, as their attention jumps constantly. However, if Gemini is truly enraged, the revenge can be terrifying — albeit short-lived. Their anger burns fast and fades quickly. But in the heat of the moment, Gemini can display remarkable cunning and audacity. Impulsive, unpredictable, lightning-fast — it is nearly impossible to foresee their next move.

♋ Cancer

This sensitive romantic can be surprisingly vindictive and cunning. Never mock a Cancer, never wound their pride, never humiliate them — they can strike suddenly, precisely, and devastatingly. Cancer is capable of nurturing revenge for a very long time, and if deeply hurt, rest assured: one way or another, retaliation will come.

♌ Leo

Leo is firmly convinced of his own righteousness. Dominant by nature, he is oriented toward decisively suppressing any resistance. Leo may get involved in all kinds of trouble while defending or protecting someone. He has an innate sense of justice and can be extremely aggressive when eliminating what he perceives as injustice — or imposing what he believes to be justice.

♍ Virgo

Virgo is anxious and suspicious, so many things can throw her off balance. Conservative and obsessed with order, any disruption can provoke aggression. You haven’t taken out the trash for two days, dirty dishes are stacked to the ceiling — the Virgo living under the same roof may simply snap. Still, Virgo’s revenge is rarely terrifying. More likely, she will grumble, throw a sharp remark your way — and that will be the end of it.

♎ Libra

Libra is generally patient, driven by an inner desire for harmony, and tries to see the best in people. Libras usually smooth over conflicts and de-escalate tension. But if you truly push them too far — their righteous anger can be terrifying.

♏ Scorpio

Scorpio is naturally aggressive and hostile (sorry), and if you insult him… or step on a sore spot in a crowded bus… or, heaven forbid, steal his partner or betray him — well, you get the idea. This is the sign capable of killing out of jealousy. By the way, who do you think Othello was according to the zodiac?

♐ Sagittarius

Sagittarius has an explosive nature, the soul of an adventurer, the persistence of a pioneer, and the азарт of a compulsive gambler. It is easy to provoke Sagittarius. In moments of rage, aggression, and irritation, he will go on a rampage and may commit a series of illogical actions he would never make in a calm state of mind. He will regret it later — silently. Because admitting it would make him look foolish.