All the Disgusting Things About Zodiac Signs. Part 2. Instructions For Girls

Are you tired of horoscopes that list only good traits? Do you want to know what vices and nasty qualities the stars have generously bestowed upon the men around you? Then read on and enjoy. And arm yourself with knowledge, so that the unpleasant sides of your beloved’s character won’t catch you off guard later.

♑ Capricorn

Capricorn is stubborn beyond reason and almost impossible to convince. Even when he agrees with you, either your opinions coincidentally match, or he simply doesn’t want to “cast pearls before swine.” In the latter case, rest assured — deep down he has zero doubts about his own righteousness. Capricorn is a classic bore: he barely tolerates loud, cheerful parties and can easily become socially lost without serious educational work. Convincing him, however, is nearly impossible, so it’s better to push gently through his interests and present ideas so carefully that he believes they are his own. Capricorn is ambitious, convinced he understands life, and therefore capable of lecturing you for hours on how one should live — and especially how one should spend money. So it’s best to keep the small joys of your shopping habits to yourself.

♒ Aquarius

Aquarius loves to dream and plot something grand, but his energy and patience rarely last long enough to even begin. He will promise you the world — and at the moment of promising, he genuinely believes he’ll deliver — but don’t trust those sweet speeches. In serious matters, it’s better not to rely on Aquarius at all, and definitely don’t dream of placing responsibility on his supposedly strong shoulders. Rely on yourself first and foremost.

♓ Pisces

Do you need a normal guy — confident, grounded, and firmly standing on solid earth instead of floating somewhere in the clouds? Then you’ve come to the wrong address. Pisces live in their own worlds, by their own rules, and are therefore utterly unfit for real life. Pisces are children at heart: indecisive, extremely sensitive, and in constant need of care. Without it, they may simply disappear due to their helplessness.

♈ Aries

If you happen to meet an Aries on your life path, you might as well run straight to the pharmacy for antidepressants. This representative of the ram family, with his stubbornness and childlike egoism, can drive you to an early grave in no time. Even when he knows he’s wrong, he’ll keep arguing purely on principle. He always has an opinion on everything — including topics he understands very poorly. Sudden bursts of aggression and foul moods are signature decorations of this sign. To be fair, he cools down just as fast as he flares up.

♉ Taurus

Taurus believes he can do absolutely anything — and if that’s the case, why rush? He’s always pleased with himself, even when there’s really nothing to be proud of. His excessive stubbornness he calls “strength of character,” his stinginess — “reasonable thrift,” and his pessimism — “a realistic view of the world.”

♊ Gemini

No zodiac sign has a greater talent for turning everything upside down than Gemini. You’ll never be bored with them, but by the second week of intense interaction you’ll feel like a sprinter among marathon runners — hopelessly exhausted and left behind. If you can endure Gemini and their mind-blowing tendency toward constant change (assuming you’re not a Gemini yourself), you deserve a monument. They bounce from place to place, adore messing with people’s heads, and love mocking others. The future with them is highly unreliable, but the present can be entertaining. Don’t expect fidelity — turn your back for a second, and they’re already flirting with your best friend.

♋ Cancer

This bore and crybaby searches for an extension of his mother in every woman, and if he finds his ideal, he’ll certainly try to marry her. Cancer, an active lover of family hearth and cozy domesticity, will prematurely send his wife to the grave with endless complaints about how dishes should be washed, the beloved cat fed, and omelets cooked properly. Marriage with Cancer is wasted youth.

♌ Leo

Obsessed with himself, Leo notices no one around him except, perhaps, those who admire him. He’s arrogant and considers himself too noble to remember grudges or promises. This royal figure loves spending money, leading a leisurely life, and surrounding himself with beautiful things and beautiful women. Insanely jealous, hot-tempered, and touchy — yet he can’t tolerate being jealous himself, as he simply can’t accept the idea of belonging to someone. He must always come first. And if you dare to postpone a date because you need to visit a sick aunt, he may take mortal offense. What aunt, for heaven’s sake?

♍ Virgo

A terrifying pedant. He (or rather, “she”) will torment you with minutiae and lectures. Virgo will nag about cholesterol in butter and how fried food ruins your stomach. Incredibly lazy, yet convinced of his own diligence — simply because he occasionally manages to do something small. Emotionally constrained, he approaches love with extreme caution.

♎ Libra

Libra is suspicious, secretive, and petty. He can be irritable and may take out his anger on the first person nearby if things don’t go as planned. He invents imaginary problems and then spends a long time solving them. He has many friends, but truly trusts almost no one.

♏ Scorpio

Nasty, picky, and vindictive, Scorpio gets irritated whenever something isn’t done the way he thinks is right. Constant nitpicking and a gloomy stare heavy enough to drive someone halfway into the ground can make anyone lose their mind. And when this insect starts getting jealous — you’re in serious trouble. He doesn’t count money, but remembers perfectly well how many times you forgot to show enthusiasm for his gifts.

♐ Sagittarius

He doesn’t lie — simply because he can’t stand lies. He won’t lie even when telling the truth is highly impractical. But if he catches you lying, expect trouble. Sagittarius is wildly jealous, yet himself never misses a skirt. Even his natural sense of humor fails to compensate for his flaws.